Pollard Memorial Library (Lowell)

Not quite a genius, Nate Dern

eng

no index present

non fiction

Not quite a genius

962009681

Nate Dern

"From Funny Or Die senior writer and former artistic director at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre comes a collection of absurdist, hilarious stories and essays on relationships, technology, and contemporary society. A brave archaeologist journeys into a suburban man cave. Leif Eriksson writes Christopher Columbus a long overdue letter. A corporate flack admonishes a room of marijuana sales people to get their revenues up. A young man's penis turns into a lobster. Walt Whitman even teaches a spin class. With humor, originality, and narrative guile, Nate Dern examines man buns, dating apps, Wi-Fi terms and conditions, juicing crazes, vegetarianism, and so much more, all while plumbing his own life and a series of fantastical scenarios for a truth that's both revelatory and beautiful."--Jacket

Part I: Which one are you?. Which one are you? ; Before we begin our yoga practice, a few words about our other offerings and that hissing sound ; Flora and their corresponding holiday ritual call to action, if encountered ; Personal Wi-Fi terms and conditions ; My name is Autumn ; Flowers for Ai_One ; The litterbug ; I like all types of music and my sense of humor is so random ; Bruce Lee novelty plate ; The scientist who named it "global warming" would like to apologize ; How many farts measure a life? ; The once and future vegetarian -- Part 2: Predator prey. Thanking Jesus ; As the toothbrush you just threw away, I have some questions about the seven 12-ounce Mountain Dews in your trash ; HonestJuice Juicery ; A lack of sleep ; An intrepid explorer discovers a man cave ; Revisions to handwashing sign made necessary thanks to a certain smart-aleck employee ; Only six of my seven kids have whooping cough, so I'm staying anti-vax ; Transcription of Internet video "Deer stuck in swing freed and you won't believe what happens next!!!" ; If I have to shit during the 5k charity run, I'm just going to do it ; YouButBetter(™)" app review ; The lost Vagina Monologue: "vaginas are awesome" ; Negative visualization ; Predator prey -- Part 3: Not quite a genius. Not quite a genius ; In case of fire ; It's not you, it's your man bun ; Glengarry Glenpot ; Weather.com headlines or creative writing MFA thesis titles? ; The transformation ; I'm not an asshole, I'm just an introvert ; 496 reasons not to explode the Earth ; What noise does a bug make? ; Chap sticks in a mailbox -- Part 4: Hand job at 20,000 feet. I am the wagon ; Letter to Christopher Columbus from Leif Eriksson ; Mile marker 304.1 ; How to explain business mergers to your child ; Walt Whitman, spin class instructor ; Politician responds to rumor he is a scientist ; Old Polish woman walks her old white dog ; Parts Nate Dern has auditioned for ; This is a dream and I'm going to kill you ; The show of LIFE! ; Hand job at 20,000 feet